Moving accounts…

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am going to be switching my accounts around momentarily. This account is getting so bogged down and has been heavily spammed as of late. I apologize for having to do so, but when worse come to worse, I’m not willing to have to keep fighting to keep things sorted out.

EDIT: You can now find In Service to Anpu at http://hmtanpu.wordpress.com/

I hope to see you all there.

Tough Times

I’ve been trying to refrain myself from dwelling too much on this, but it comes to the point that I can’t stand it any longer. My husband and I are currently trying to purchase a house. It would be our first non-rental home and the second home in which we are independant from family. We have been approved for the mortgage loan. But because we’re having to go USDA Rural Developement (RD), we’re having to wait for the government to get their asses into gear and get this done.

We were supposed to be closed at the end of last month. You can see how well that is going… With our rental lease having already ended, we are now homeless, forced to stay with family and friends until we can get a closing date on the house. I’m not going to give up on this. I know we can afford to buy this house.

We were paying $565 per month in rent, and the house payment will be around $350 per month. Plus, the house is only 5 miles away from my husband’s work, instead of the 17 miles we were driving four times a day, as I am the one that keeps the car all day. So we’ll be cutting the 68 miles per day down to 20 miles per day. Our car gets 26+ mpg, so we’ll be saving over $100 per month in gas alone.

It’s just frustrating to have to deal with all this. I understand why so many people give up on trying to buy a house. If we had anywhere else to go, we probably would too. But I like the neighborhood this house is in, and it’s convenient to everything. It’s small, but it’s big enough for the three of us. All I want is to have a home to call my own. Is that really too much to ask?

Serving Anpu

With a growing number of people showing interest in the service to Anpu, I will be starting with such in my mini-course lessons available through PowerPoint and articles. If you have any questions you would like answered, please feel free to ask.

I’m afraid that it may take me a while to get anything available online. Please be patient, as I am without all of my books, and much of my other religious materials, due to being displaced at the moment while we wait for the mortgage to finally go through. We’re being forced to wait, while we have no home to call our own, for the government to get their asses into gear and realize that sometimes there are more important things in this world than themselves, like ensuring the People have homes to live in so that they can work in order to pay their taxes.

I’ll offer explaination later when I’m not so bitchy. That’s another reason I will be holding off for now.

Coming Soon: PowerPoint Shows for Paganism, Kemeticism, & More

Okay, so since I am one of the lucky ones with full access to PowerPoint, I’m going to be making some presentations available online for those who want to learn the basics, as well as intermediate and advanced stuff. Be sure to check back here. There will be a new category over on the left of the blog entries called “Lessons via PowerPoint,” of which this post is the first in the category.

I will be taking requests for the types of shows that people would like to see. Please leave a comment ON THIS POST ONLY with your requests.

 NOTE: All shows will require that you have a PowerPoint Show viewer. I’ll find some freeware ones and point you in the right direction. Look for an edit to this post later!

What Are You Looking For?

Everyone is looking for something. I know that many seekers are looking for help in finding where they belong, what path is for them, or even just some resources to help them get started. I’m almost always doing research for myself and others, so if you would like me to add your topics to my search lists, please feel free to comment to this post. I’ll see what I can find for you.

Be sure to use an email address that you’ll actually check when you do so, that way I can get back in touch with you.

Many Pagans Discriminate Against Kemetics

I, perhaps, am one of the more lucky ones, so long as I carefully censor myself when speaking to others about my beliefs. I enjoy a good theological discussion now and then, but lately, it is growing more difficult to do such when you always have to watch for others to immediately shoot down anything you say as false because it doesn’t fit within their personal beliefs.

 In short, there are a surprisingly large number of closed-minded self-proclaimed pagans.

 It is difficult to feel a part of a community other than with those who worship the Neteru, as it always seems even though in comparison to most of their Gods, ours are more ancient. I think that might be one thing that makes them so unnerved by our practices. We do not require the “casting a circle”, and our Gods speak to us whenever They damn well please. They are not bound by ritual and rite, nor do they only take notice of us when we are actively worshipping Them. We are the rites, rituals, offerings and sacrifices to the Neteru; it is our love for Them and Their love for us that our relationships are built upon.

Despite my years of service to the Neteru, many local pagans try to look down on me as I do not know how to “cast a circle,” or “draw down the moon/sun,” or some other pomp and rite that they believe is necessary for magical workings. I know how to do it. I simply have no reason to do so, nor to I desire to go against what my Masters have taught me by using the “normal” magics rather than those taught to me by the Gods Themselves. I know the Gods protect me in my rites. I know that all it takes to recieve such protection is the mere utterance of Their Names.

I am a strict polytheist. I know all the Gods exist, and I have spoken personally to many of Them. I converse with Apollo periodically simply because I enjoy doing so. He doesn’t demand anything of me, and if He does need anything from me, He always approaches my Master first.

One thing that has always driven me crazy and to outright shouting batches with others is the “Godhead theory,” where all Gods are truly One God or whatever the way they choose to describe it that day is. The Kemetic Orthodox has its belief that all of the Neteru are “Names” of the one “Netjer”.  The Wiccans believe that all Gods are one God and all Goddesses are one Goddess. Some go even further to say that these two beings are in fact simply one being.

Whenever discussion comes up about the debates about the “Godhead theory,” if you don’t believe the whole “All is One and One is Many” thing, those people who do believe it often don’t want anything to do with you anymore. They close you out of the community, and some will go as far to being outwardly verbally hateful and abusive to you. I have been called many names, had been wronged, accused of false accusitions, and much more.

And for what? A little self-gratification in that they are right and I am wrong. Period. End of story. No multiple choice answers here.

 Hmm… Odd, since often times I’ll simply ASK the Gods what the truth of the matter is. And guess what?! Most of the time, They’ll tell me! You know, They hate it when Their lives are referred to as “mythology.” They hate it when people try to claim the Oneness of the Gods instead of simply talking to Them and seeing the truth for themselves, just because it’s written in some book some where. They hate it when people hide behind the illusions of religion and forget the fellowship of spirit.

So, basically, GET OVER YOURSELVES AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR GODS ARE TELLING YOU!

In Rememberance

On September 11, 2001, a great horror occurred in New York City. As the great World Trade Center towers collapsed to piles of rubble, countless souls died. Some were lucky enough to be killed instantly, while others suffered in flames, or were crushed by rubble, or were brave enough to leap out the window, only to fall to their deaths, though they usually died well before they hit the ground. Still others suffered for days, trapped under the remains of the buildings, slowly running out of air and the will to live. For all of these poor souls, Anpu came, a gentle guardian and guide to lead those who were ready to go on to the next world. Not everyone went, and some of them remain on this earth to this day, trapped by memories of lives unlived, family left behind, and much more.

I ask that even if you did not know a single person that died in New York that day, or the ones that so bravely sacrificed themselves on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania, that you still take a moment to remember them. They are our brothers and sisters, our kin. We are all human, but more importantly, we are all children of Gods. It’s all just a matter of which Gods we belong to.

I find it hard to believe that any God could be so cruel as to expect Their followers to destroy human lives simply because they do not honor Them. (I speak of many Gods of the modern mainstream religions; it seems the monotheistic religions are the only ones that ever have such a thing…)

I know in my heart what happens to everyone in the start to the next life. It is all a matter of perception on how you view it, but it is all the same in the end. Almost every religion acknowledges a judgement to take place after you die. And it is a judgement of the deeds you have done in your life. In this, I know in my heart that those fools who dare murder thousands in the name of any God shall face the wrath of many Gods. Judgement will commense, and they will be fed to Ammut. Not just their hearts, allowing them a second chance. There is no excuse when it comes to pure cruelty.

Even if it’s just for today, light a candle for those of our brothers and sisters who are still lost. Give them lights of comfort. Speak to them in kind words. Tell them it’s okay for them to move on. Offer to them food and drink, music, and unconditional love. They may just move on into service of the Gods to come back to protect those who survived, not only the physical horrors of September 11th, but also those who survived it in spirit from all over the world. They may be our guardians, lost now without the support of those they could be protecting and guiding. Show them the way, and they may just be our way-showers….

Devotion to my Master

There are many ways to show devotion to a Deity whom you serve and belong to. In my devotion to Anpu, I perform daily rites through prayer and sacred ritual. I follow His will as He commands it (though admittingly not without complaining at times). I make regular offerings. I make sacrifices of time, energy, and occassionally personal comfort.

In this, I am speaking of many things. I have severe back problems caused by scar tissue and spinal damage from the epidoral from when I birthed my son. It is not easy for me to sit up strait for long extended periods of time, and even harder to sit or kneel on the floor, or stand for long periods of times. And one thing that is demanded of me on a frequent basis is perfect posture.

Another thing on the subject of personal comfort is going and getting a serious of tattoos showing my devotion and service to Him and my Patron, Djehuty. I am also supposed to get an ujaht (eye of Heru) over my heart for protection. None of these I look forward to, even after having sat in and watched my husband, Sabam, get his first tattoo for the same reasons.

It seems so much easier just to wear their images by means of pendants, but I imagine since those can be removed, they’re not overly meaningful enough in Their eyes (even though I throw a coniption fit if I forget to put them back on or am denied the right to wear them for a period of time by Them to remind me of my devotion). Though, I admit, occassionally the necklaces I wear do feel more like obediance collars more than anything else…

As I Came to Becoming

I admit that I should have known. My husband, Sabam, is a priest of Anpu, and thus I was used to feeling His presence on a regular basis. But it never occurred to me that He was spending a lot of time watching me, though He rarely spoke to me. I know now that He was determining if I was ready.

We moved into our new home and new city on February 1, 2007. Our third year wedding anniversary was approaching on February 4th, so we were taking our time in actually moving our belongings in to our new home. I was still adjusting to being in the service of my Patron, Djehuty, who at the time I thought was also my Master, as that is how it is with Sabam. I learned later that month that it is never safe to assume anything about the Neteru.

One thing led to another, through influences caused by Set’s “blessing” He gifted to us on our wedding day and manipulations of other mortals, and on the night February 21, 2007, Sabam and I were in a harsh arguement. For several days, I had had to listen to many of the Neteru, the ones I loved most dear and served when They asked something of me, tell me as gently as They could that Sabam and I were never meant to be with each other in marriage. My heart was breaking, and when They demanded during the arguement that I tell him that we weren’t meant to be…

I eventually couldn’t stand it any longer, and I spoke the words They commanded me to. I witnessed my beloved’s heart strain to breaking point as he immediately went into denial. I could not stand it. I collapsed to my knees in tears as he ran out of the room. It wasn’t long before I heard a kitchen drawer open.

I ran into the kitchen, fearing what was happening. I do not remember the actual movement to the kitchen. I remember being in the bedroom, then being in the kitchen on the other end of the house, quickly and gently trying to coax the knife away from my beloved as he prepared to save himself from further pain of his heart breaking.

I do not doubt that he would have done it. I know he would have if not for me getting in there and getting the knife away from him. Of course, only later did I discover that Anpu was preventing him from taking action as well. Though it wasn’t long until I found this out.

 Once the knife was set safely aside, Sabam’s eyes filled with fear. I could feel Anpu’s presence as Sabam plead with Him. Suddenly Sabam clutched his chest in pain and sank to the floor. Paniced, I pulled out my cellphone and started to call 911, but before I could hit ’send’, I heard my Patron’s voice quietly say, “Stop. Wait.”

Watching my husband being in such pain, I couldn’t follow that command. I started to press the ’send’ button when suddenly a sharp pain ran through my arm, causing me to drop the phone. With it’s little musical chime, it promptly turned itself off and laid useless on the floor.

I watched helplessly as my husband’s eyes scanned the room fearfully, and he began muttering that he wasn’t ready to go yet. It struck me what was happening, and I clung to him defensively as I felt the building presence of Anpu walking (well, stalking is actually more appropriate at this point; He was pissed, to say the least) towards us. As it turns out, this only ended up serving His intention as after a brief struggle that I tried to ensure no injuries occurred, the body went lax, the breathing tired but relaxing, and then the eyes opened.

Those eyes that I had thought to be so familiar, that I had looked into every day, looked back at me with such power that I couldn’t find the right mental commands to move. It wasn’t my husband that looked back at me in that moment. It was the Challenger, the Guardian, He Who Rests Upon His Mountain, the Foremost of the Westerners. It was Lord Anpu.

Due to the personalness of what was said between us over the next several hours, I do not wish to share that just yet. Maybe one day, but not right now.